Sunday, January 8, 2012

Things I am Free to do Now.

1.) Be a total scaredy cat about driving in snow and ice. It could blizzard tomorrow, and guess what?! I have no pressing reasons to risk life, limb, and poor abused car braving the slush. Buying paper plates can wait, ok?

2.) I can do strange things to my hair. I would have totally been on top of that feather trend back in 2009, but I wasn't sure my boss would "get" it. It's passed me by. Pretty sure I can work something else out, though. Don't you worry. *ha-wink*

3.) I can take on really large personal projects. Whats that? Paint 5 murals in a local High School? Just let me check my schedu... yep. I'm free for that. 

4.) Catch up on "Portlandia". I'm finally in on the "put a bird on it" joke. If I'm not behind a desk again next week, who knows. Maybe I'll find out what a "Tardis" is.

5.) Day drinking. 

6.) Just kidding, Mom. 

7.) I'm not exactly kidding. 

8.) But I'm mostly kidding. 

9.) My house is CLEAN y'all. Because Day Drinking. (Still Kidding). (Ish).

10.) Documentaries. Did you know History Channel still shows them? It's in the morning...before reruns of pawn-shop/storage auction reality TV. In the morning- you can learn about history. In the evening, you can watch other "folksy" people pieces of it. 

11.) I get to watch Jon become "Working Wife, Lauren Ritta". Our situation has totally flip flopped. Now Jon is the one who asks in accusing tones "what time did you wake up today?" (answer is 8. I wake up n a panic that I'm late at 8 am. Old habits and all that.) I SO want to leave a cheese wrapper out for him to find. But I can't bring myself to eat that stuff Kraft passes off as "Cheese" when it is clearly a heavily salted, congeled mass of Bugs Bunny's carrot-centric poo.

12.) I'm off coffee.

13.) My headaches are a lot worse. Because no coffee. But no one at home thinks it's weird if I stare at my computer through Ray-Bans all morning. 

*It sounds like fun and games, but I really am pounding the pavement (well, what pavement exists on the internet).